Just another fairy-tale.

Have you ever fell so hard for someone?
Have you ever had this feeling of deserving somebody that deserves you back?
Like he/she is the perfect person for you.
And everything is surely to turn out great.
Extraordinary, is an understatement.
That person is seriously all that.

As both parties try and fix things..
The greatness stops,
it just stops.
The feeling that was so strong, that was so overwhelming,
it's gone...
It's not turning out the way you wanted it to, and you know that.
The perfect little fairy-tale ain't so perfect after all.
Just because you're trying.

Both of you know what you had before was better.
When everything was simple and not complicated.
When you were not trying.

Sometimes fairy-tales do not have to end with the prince marrying the princess..
It just has to be a happy ending.
Weirdly, it's for the best and we're both happy.
I know I love you.
& I know you do too.
;)

The Young & Old Generation of Today.

I'm sure I'm not the only one experiencing this..

Just now, as I walked into my room, I saw my youngest sister with her best friend on my laptop listening to songs. I didn't care for a second, but then..it was Avenged Sevenfold! Like, seriously, WHAT THE HELL? They're only 10 years old! And they were singing alonggg to the song. I do not even know what f*cked up song is that! Hahahah. Seriously people, children has to stop watching the Tv. It's getting in their heads, and not to mention scaring the shit out of their sisters!

But really, I was shocked. I did not know 10 year olds are capable of listening to such high pitch noise and doing the high picth themselves!

Anddd, the other day, as I was heading downstairs from my room, I saw my dad watching the Tv. And he was watching 'Totally Spies'. Alone. Like totally. It's this cartoon show in Disney if you have no idea what it is...
I guess the Tv could corrupt the minds of old people too. Hahahah.

Damn funny sial. :D

Alright, excuse me as I digest these. Out people!

Frustrated much?

Is it possible for someone to get mad at you for things you might not know of?

Is it possible for them to cut all ties because of that one slight mistake?

Is it possible for yourself to get mad back because HELL, you have no idea what's going on at the first place?

Yes, yes. And a double yess!!
Shit, I can get mad too alright.
Not to mention annoyed.

I could be a bit if a blur ass, so do tell me stuffs. Sometimes I don't notice it, so gimme a clue.
I'm not all miss perfect, you know.
I am human, better yet, I am just a girl.

What is there imaginable for just a girl to do?

At this point, I am convinced there is hardly anybody that could relate and/or understand me more than myself.

And pleaseee, to all ya neighbors; stop open burning for heaven’s sake! It’s unhealthy and it’s bad for the environment. Makes me think what you did all the years you had in your life to affect you in the head.

My hair smells like smoke, my clothes & room smells like smoke, every corner of my friggin house smells like smoke and the air smells like smoke and I’m inhaling it! Stop, ya idiot! Idiocracy is such a disgrace.

And you are just burning up my fire even more.

Ahh, then again. Whatever f face. My voice is too small for you to hear...

The Dinner.

We went out for the dinner last night at the Suites. It was actually quite enjoying, since we're not celebrating like usual. We had fun though and took so much pictures!

Unfortunately, my brother's memory card was corrupted and all of the pictures are gone.
I was soooo sadddddddddd. I couldn't do anything but sulk. ;((

So anyways..there are some pictures though. The blur ones. Urghh.

We hang out for a bit after the dinner, and played fire crackers at 12 midnight. At least some stuffs never change yeah? ;)

The Number 6.

I got tagged by Harleen.

Rules:

• link to the person that tag you

• post the rules in your blog

• share 6 important things/ habits/ quirks about yourself

• tag 6 random people at the end of your post by linking to their blogs

• let them know that they have been tag by leaving comment on their blog

• reply to me when they have finished

6 things/ habits / quirks about me:

1.My mind tends to move on quicker than my heart.

2.I love to laugh, and I’ll laugh at anything, even when it’s not funny. And I can be harsh.

3.I can live with only vegetables and fruits for the rest of my life.

4.I put myself first in most things. (Not a good quality, I know)

5.I do not like getting hurt, but I kept on hurting people unintentionally.

6.Sometimes I picture myself dying in an early age.

There you go. 6 weird stuffs about me.

People I tag:
1. Wann
2. Putri
3. Ashraf
4. Ruzzane
5. Deklin
6. Hannah

Chinese New Year.

Hey people! I'm here to wish everyone of you a Very Prosperous & Happy New Year!

Though plans might have change for my family. We're not going back to celebrate CNY this year. Seriously, It is sucky. Don't even let me get started on thatt.

And for your info, I have a mix of Chinese blood in me and I do celebrate Chinese New Years every year.

At least Abah made an effort to cheer us up, so we're going for the big dinner tonight. You know, the one they have every year before a new year. SO I hope this could at least cheer me up. 'Cause I'm a bit down in the dump about few things lately. Especially about not going back. :(

I miss my family back in Kuching. I hope you guys are gonna have a great new year ahead! Kung kung, I love you! & everybody too okayy. ;)

I'll post the photos for the dinner tonight. So see ya, gotta go get ready! Ciao.

Make-over!

Please excuse my previous post. It was all hormones I tell ya. Well, just maybe. Hahah.
Anyways, I decided to redo my layout after much comment and complaint from Wann. But I was actually already thinking into switching it to a better skin. Just to give it a make-over & edgier, fresher new look. No more using templates and such, for the time being though. It turned out to look quite simple, guess I just have to stick with this one first.
So I'm no sissy now eh, Wann? I'm a winner. LOL.
I still do not know how to edit some other stuffs though...
Haihs, I need help Wann.

Seriously.

You suck so bad I hate you so much right now.

Please go die.

Thank you.

Hitler me much?

I got really bored & started taking quizzes again. I stumbled to this one interesting quiz. It says "Which historic personality are you?"
After taking the quiz, my result turned out to be Adolf Hitler.
What the hell? Hahaha. Shocking, I know.

"You have a minouscious but evil mind. You have a great charisma and a freaky talent to convince people with your ideas. You are a bad bad person..."

Don't ask me, I have no idea what 'minouscious' means..
I don't even think such word exists.
What-evs.
& Fatin thinks it's minacious. I think she's right. :)

Out y'alls.

O M G.

Euw euw euw euw euww.

Euuw euuww euuuwwww!

Ignore me.

I just got really grossed out from dirty old men & their weird interest in young ladies.

Eeeeuuwwwww okay.

Now please.

Go away.

Please.

Lucky Number 7.

You just had to tag me didn't you, Ashraf? Urgh. :P
Alright, let's see...

7 facts about me?
1. I could be the most innocent girl you have ever known.
2. I have a habit of counting things around me, but quietly. For example, number of walls, windows, etc. Lol.
3. I suffer from nicotine poisoning too, from my friends.
4. I used up long hours to get ready. So warn me earlier.
5. I love & am obsessed with reading, traveling, shopping, food & having fun.
6. I hate fish-es.
7. My family & friends rock my socks!

7 things that I'm afraid of the most?
1. Dying.
2. The dark, at night time, & alone with my imagination.
3. The feeling of losing someone/something.
4. Not living my life the way I want to.
5. Being all alone for hours.
6. Not having anyone to talk to.
7. Something that goes horribly wrong when everything is already perfectly arranged according to plan.

7 songs on my playlist?
1. Your Call - Secondhand Serenade.
2. Holiday - Boys like Girls.
3. When it Rains - Paramore.
4. Body on Me- Ashanti feat Akon & Nelly.
5. Can't Smile without You - Barry Manilow.
6. Yesterday - The Beatles.
7. Love Lockdown- Kanye West.

7 phrases/words that usually comes out of my mouth?
1. What the hell?
2. Bodo.
3. Boo-yah!
4. Ohh dayyyyymmn.
5. You lil bastards.
6. Uihhhh.
7. What?

7 things that are precious to me?
1. My future.
2. My clothes & shoes & bags & nail polishes.
3. My dreams.
4. My room & everything on my bed.
5. My laptop.
6. My dad's ka-ching.
7. My mum's ka-ching.
HAHAHA. :D

7 firsts in my life?
1. A lot of my firsts happened in Curtin.
2. My first ever favourite singer was Britney Spears.
3. My first love was Daniel Radcliffe. Hahah.
4. My first ever phone was a Nokia I-don't-know-what-model and I got it by the age of 12.
5. My first time staying away from home when I was selected to be a representative of Sarawak for a Science thing in KL.
6. My first ambition was to be a doctor, and now I'm taking Commerce & Arts. The irony.
7. The first time I drove when I was 15. I'm 19 now, and with no legal license. Uh huh.

Tag 7 people:
1. Harleen Atica
2. Putri Ain
3. Wann
4. Valerie Neo
5. Farah Hanis.
6. Ruzzane
7. Zowwo.

There you go. My lucky number 7s. ;)

The Big CNY.

It's almost Chinese New Year, am I'm not so sure if we are going back to celebrate this year. Popo just passed away in the middle of last year, so this would be the first ever CNY without her. I pity my Kung kung. :(

Anyways, I heard that probably we are going back for a couple of days, minus the usual big celebrations. Maybe less visits too, I don't know...

I do want to go back to celebrate with Kung kung though.
But then I heard probably Abah wants to take me to KL for a few days while he's on his business trip.. & if it all works out well, I'll be going back to Kuching for CNY, then to KL, people!
If it works out I mean..

Well, let's just wait & see shall we?

Ohh, I've been having these cravings for yummy cakes & I don't know why. Feels like going to Coffee Bean or somewhere. Even a birthday cake would do! Ahah.
Talking about birthday cakes, Happy belated birthday my lovely Tutush & Mim too!
Hope you guys had a great birthday.
& miss you Tutush. :)

Ta for now.

All the love from a Monday evening,
Epah ;)

They keep on coming.

I know I’ve touched a bit about this subject before in one of my previous post. But the Israelis are really getting on my nerves right now. Not just them, all of the Muslim countries too, and that includes Malaysia.

Why on earth are we not doing anything? I may speak for my own, but my voice is not loud enough to be heard. The leaders of our country should seriously do something about this. Isn’t it is already in our teachings that we Muslims are brothers? All of us are brothers. We are somewhat related. All of us human are somewhat related. We came from Adam & Eve. Do you not notice that??

Can you just imagine the total number of Muslims in this earth compared to the Israelis?? Damned you Zionists. Israel laknatullah.

In the Middle East country alone, there should be about 300 million of us Muslims, and what about the Israelis? There are just 5 million of them. Tell me, why are we scared?

Why are we not doing anything to help them?

Let us pray for them. No matter what you stand for, your race, your religion, or among yourselves. We have to save human kind. What have they done to deserve this? Do you not understand what is happening to this world?

I know I could not bear it if I am to be in Palestine right this moment…to be one of them. Could you? Could you imagine yourself in their shoes? Can you?

Ya Allah, ya Tuhanku... What is happening to this world??

What else is there to be done for us to save ourselves from the human race itself?

Please, help me spread this awareness. I am not just talking about a religion here. I am talking about a race of people. Save them.

"Oh Allah support the Islam and Muslimeen in Palestin, Oh Allah make their hearts firm (in Imaan, Taqwaa, Tawakkul etc.), Oh Allah make their feet firm (uncompromising and steadfast), Oh Allah support them (the Mujaahideen) over those who show animosity to them, Oh Allah destroy their enemies, Oh Allah shake the earth beneath their (the enemies) feet, Oh Allah support our scholars, Oh Allah be with them and protect them, please accept our du'aas you are indeed the best knower and the best listener..ameen ameen".

Amin yarabbil alamin…

Insomnia attacks again.

I should be sleeping right now since I have a driving class at 8.30 in the morning. I know I knoww. Like what I told Wann, I'll eventually fall asleep. If not here, maybe in the class tomorrow. Haha.

Now it has been some time since I actually really ramble here in my blog.
Since I can't keep myself still and my eyes shut, I'll just start rambling now.

So I miss Clare already..She was off to Perak today. And glad I spent some time with her. See you in half a year time sweetie! Lol.
There was this one night when I was over at her place, she had the guitar there, and was playing to "Your Call" by Seconhand Serenade which was awesome! We were singing to the song together. Gonna miss ya girl. :)

Anyways, Syeba's back in town for the holidays. At least I have someone to bug from my left over of 1 out of almost 4 months of holidays if ever I get bored.
(Guys, don't get jealous just 'cause I have got 4 months of holidays and you don't. Hahah.)

OH OH OH. Hot dangg mama. There's this guy that had just added me up on facebook. & he's hot! Lol.
Okay, let's just not talk about that.

So my brother came up to me earlier tonight and told me that I was diabolical.
Could you believe that??? I swear I could be the most angelic person that you would have ever met in your life time!
Well, maybe I'm exxagerating a bit, but still... I was like, whatttt? Oh no, I am so nott okayyy. I am a very good person, indeed I am. & I wish to be more. Hahah.
He had just said that out of boredom I guess, when I was about to do "something". It's not going to be stated here as it is a bit unhealthy for people to know. Lol. Still, it is not up to the point that you could call me a diabolic. Ahh, what-evs bro. I'm happy, you're happy. Whatever makes you happy.

Uh huhh, lookie lookie. Look at the time, I should really be hitting the sacks now. It's approximately 4.09 a.m. and I have the driving class in a few hours time.

Oh. God I hope I can wake up.
See ya in the morning!
Lols. Ciao.

&Harleen, yes. We should go out again. Some time soon okay? ;)

My day today...

I watched a movie called Awake this morning. Hayden Christensen & Jessica Alba, what more could you ask for? Lols. I thought it was just an ordinary love story, with all the grieve and tragedy etc etc.. All of that f*cked up stuffs that just messes up your life, if you do imagine that to be yours...
So anyhow, it turned out to be an awesome piece! Goddd, I did not know it would turn out like that. But seriously, this is a must watch, definitely. :)

Last night I went out with Clare, Cindy and Harleen. It was serious fun! Had so much fun, and laughed too much, I lost my voice. Haha.
I still remember one incident that happened last night, we wanted to steal a robot toy thingy outside somebody's house. But ended up, the owner saw us, so we had to drive away. Which is danggg, damn funny okayyy. Ahaha.

This is just a quickie people. Will update sometime soon.
I've been busy Farah, lol. Which explains why I had not been updating. :D

&&don't worry Chuck Bass, I still love you, even when nobody wants you now.
*big big grin* ;))

Signing off people,
Ciao!

Out of my mind.

I am not boastful, I am proud.
I am not overexcited, but fill with joy.

I do not mumble, I talk.
I do not just hear, but I listen.
I do not just see, I look.
I do not just observe, but I feel..

I am human, as to you too.

Never give up. Never surrender. Never say die.

That's how I was grown up with, and still until this very day. It has always been the principles my family has put in my head.
We are all the same though, just that how much of what you have learn throughout your life makes YOU who you are, and who YOU want to be.

If ever at some point of your life if you feel like giving up, and all that in your life is not worth it. Think back, think of all the people you have step your life into. And all the people that have stepped into yours. Think of all the lives you've changed, and how it changed/s yours too.
Your family, your friends, your lovers... People surrounding you.

Anytime is always the best time to say what you want.
Anyways, it's been awhile. ;)

What's happening to the World?

Had my last reunion with Edith & Nick earlier tonight. Been spending nights with them jacking off to stupid stuffs, exchanging stories & reminiscing old high school memories (makes me feel so old). Clare, of course was hanging out with us too. I'm gonna miss you guys, Edith & Nick! Had fun spending the nights with you three. And I'm pretty sure you are gonna miss my shop's Teh C Peng Special! LOL.
&Don't worry Clare, I'll miss you later when you take off for Perak. See, I do remember where you study at. I don't mistaken your lovely Perak for Kedah anymore now do I? HAHAHA.
By the way, I miss hanging out with you guys already. I had fun scaring your chicken asses with my ghosts stories though! Tell me, I have a knack for telling super cool creepy ghost stories or whatt?? :P

Anyways, it's 7 in the morning now, and I have not been sleeping since. No good night sleep from me for weeks. This is getting very serious. O.o
I might want to change. Insyaallah.

So talking about the news today. Heard about what's happening in Gaza? Personally, I am not satisfied with the Israelis. How can they do that to the Palestinians? And what are the reasons? I just do not understand. How can you hurt such innocent people? God, have mercy. It is as much pain to see them on the Tv, what more to feel what they are facing?
& the question here, what do they want from the Palestinians? And innocent children? Are you mad, Israelis? I guess you are.
Enough said. Or I'm just gonna explode right here. & it's gonna beat the hell out of your phosphorus bombs that you're using to attack Gaza. I swear to you.

Arghh. Excuse me as I walk away from this, for now. Pray for them. Allah save them.

&Hopefully, a very good morning to all of you.
Now, let me have my breakfast.

Till then,
Ciao people.

EMO much?

I'm being very emo now, people. Bear with me.

So there's this guy.
So I like him.
But it's taking too much of me..

So I'm trying to forget him.
So it's not easy.
It's very hard actually..

But I did it.
So I thought I did.
But I did not..

"What am I to do?
I almost got you out of my mind,
Until you said hello again today.."

Confused? So am I.

Does my blog seems a bit confusing to you guys?
I need you to say something here, so I could change for the better.
Thanks y'all! :D

Updated.

The new layout is momentary...I hope. Until I have the time to go over the html codes and give myself a headache.

So, until then, this is how it'll look like.

;)

I think I have a problem.

It is not clinically proven...yet. But I think I may have insomnia. It's 5.30 in the morning now, and I can't sleep. I got stuffs running in my head. It has been like this for days, um..weeks probably.

I tried sleeping though, but ended up tossing and turning around on my bed. For more than an hour and that's just sad. Urgh, I can't stand this, and since I'm the only one awake, I'm bored.

I even woke my brother up a minute ago, telling him the idea of going out right this moment to take awesome photographs of the early morning to come. He said I was a psycho and went back to sleep.

Guess I'll go around the house after this, I'll find something to do eventually...

Till then,
all the love at 5 in the morning,
Epah. <3

My daytrip to Miri.

I went to Miri today, had to get back some of my stuffs from Curtin..
So, uh-huh. I have a confession.
I don't want to go back to Curtin...

Why? I have my reasons, and somehow I do not think anybody would understand me even if I tried explaining. So I should just keep quiet about this. Plus, my parents prefer me to be in Miri, so I'll stay. :)

Again, I have not been sleeping at night and my bedtime is all messed up, which is really bad. I'll only fall asleep around 4 a.m. the earliest. It's already a new year, and I am not giving myself a good start.
Note to self; try sleeping early.

Anyways, how did you celebrate your new year? I had a lot of party invitations. But I went to just one. :O
Spent half the night partying. God that was exhausting, but of course fun! Big big smiles from people after the party. Everybody were enjoying themselves. We ate a hell lot; there was food all around. (oh heaven!) Lols. I spent the whole night dancing! We did some singing and played games too. The games were so much fun! We had a limbo competition, and there were some other games that included toilet papers, make-ups, straws & boys. HAHAH.
After the countdown, we wished "Happy New Year" to everybody present at the party and exchanged hugs and kisses. :))
Then...we started partying again! Hahah. It was a memorable night though. I enjoyed myself to the max. :D

*a happy new year from me, to all of you out there!*

Some other pictures from the party. :)

& Right now it's 5.45 in the morning.
I should get some sleep.

Till then,
Ciao.

God, save me.

One question. Am I a bad person?

Because I did something very very bad tonight. I was mad, maybe that's why. But you know, sometimes stuffs you say may come true. Be careful what you wish for people, or more specifically, me in this matter.
So I was crapping some stinking shit out of anger and fed-upness. (if there is such a word). But yeah, I said some pretty mean things about the two most important people in my life. Now, I wish I had not done that, as it seems as it may possibly come true. & "may" here is not a good thing.
Think before you say something. And if the urge of saying it must be done, then...think for a second time.

This maybe be a lesson to teach me.
Ya Allah, ampunkan dosa ku.
:(